Not A Relapse

I'm mentally impaired,
In despair,
Mentally unprepared
And genuinely scared

I'm taken over by a monster
One called addiction and relapse
One called abuse
That is the truth

I'm overcome by drugs, trying to be free
Of the fears and sights I feel and see
And by the pills I might swallow
For in my sorrows I wallow

The drugs play with my mind
And tell me I'm just fine
Altering reality
Creating inner brutality

I sit here half drugged off a normal dose
And to a lot of things I feel close
My mind bringing back old times
And my old pathetic past-times

 Still my mind feels tired and gross
And my body lays here morose
I try to mentally replay the sounds of a symphony
Before I awake back into reality

I'm mentally impaired,
In despair,
Mentally unprepared
And genuinely scared